Archive for December, 2006

How to deal with negative emotions.

Monday, December 18th, 2006

Negative emotions sap your energy and undermine your effectiveness. In the negative emotional state, you find the lack of desire to do anything. The mind is filled with thoughts of fear, doubts and insecurities. Your body experiences fatigue, tightness and muscle tension.

Notice that your negative emotions arise when you respond to something, attach a meaning to it and picture it in your mind. You add power to it by using words to label and describe the situation or emotion. You will then experience the sensation and respond accordingly, as you always, have unconsciously. The ability to deal with negative emotions will change your responses to situations and people.

How to deal with negative emotions.

Decision.

It takes a decision to change anything. Once you decide that you no longer want to allow your negative emotions to control your life, you will take action to manage them when the first hint appears.

Awareness.

You should condition yourself to become aware of your emotions and the stimulus that trigger them. When you are aware, you are able to look at it squarely. Train your mind to “catch” yourself getting into an emotional state.

Questioning.

It takes conscious awareness to question your limiting feelings and state of mind. Questioning yourself is a way to dehypontize your way of getting into an automatic state. Question your reasons, assumptions and understandings in order to change the intensity and meaning you attach to your emotions.

Change your focus.

When you focus on hurtful feeling, fear and all other negative state of emotions, you will einlarge them. You need to refocus and divert your attention to what you want to experience. Instead of brooding and playing disempowering images and talking negatively to yourself, take a different action.

Since you have total control over your thoughts at any given time, you can shift your thinking. The best way to shift your thinking and refocus is to do something physically. Moving your body through physical activity changes your internal state of mind.

De-stress and relax.

When there is a lot of stress in your life, everything seems against you. De-stress yourself at intervals during your waking hours by taking time to relax and exercise breathing techniques. A calm and peaceful mind is able to produce positive emotions and a better outlook about life and events.

Accept responsibility.

Try to remind yourself that the cause of your anger, hurt and fear are not due to external situations or people. It exists inside you. If you can control and manage your negative emotions, nothing out there will affect your state of mind and body.

Fatimah Musa provides information, tips and quotes to help people become aware that any future success starts with their personal growth. You can visit Fatimah at http://www.about-personal-growth.com or read more articles at http://www.about-personal-growth.com/personal-growth-articles.html

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How to have a happy and productive life.

Wednesday, December 13th, 2006

Living a happy and productive life is nothing more that the sum total of many happy days of doing productive activities. It is about creating as many “Now” moments as possible.

How to have a happy and productive life.

Know exactly what it is that you want.

Decide what happiness means to you. Search for what you want out of life and what you enjoy doing and having. Whatever you are seeking, you will find it within. Information from books, other people’s opinions and ideas are stimulus to trigger your thought process. The answers are inside you.

Have full control of your future.

You can become and have anything that you desire because you are in control. To be or not to be is up to you. You can choose to act instead of reacting. You remain dogged by the same situation repeatedly because you have not chosen to have control of your own mind and attitude. Once you decide to take charge, you will end your pain and misery.

Hang around with happy and productive people.

Disassociate and walk away from people and situations that cause unhappiness. Hang around with people you trust and are in harmony with your needs and desires.

Enjoy work that is fun and challenging.

Nothing is more stressful than doing work that you don’t enjoy. Find work that gives you pleasures and makes you feel excited. It is the kind of work where you can put you heart into it and will perform your best.

Enjoy your own company.

Learn to enjoy your own company. Lavish yourself with reading, learning or indulge yourself with any activity that makes you happy. Expect the best from yourself and you activities. Explore and discover the real you and persuade yourself to like whoever you are. The most important person and the only person you talk and listen to on an ongoing basis is the one inside your own mind.

Build better relationships.

Treat others well and with respect, appreciate them and you will get the same treatment. Invest time, energy, spirit and your heart into your relationships. Commit to promote each others’ welfare and happiness. Avoid misunderstandings and frustrations by communicating effectively. Share your concerns and understanding each others values and rules.

Create new things.

Do something different to create new interests. Working on new things personally and professionally motivates and increases your chances for personal growth and satisfaction. You will build better life skills, create new opportunities and meet new and interesting people.

Each activity and progress will lead to more growth each day and will have a cumulative effect on your future.

Keep your attention on your goal.

Guard your mind from negative and disempowering thoughts. Focus and concentrate on what you want even when you are confronted with difficulties and challenges. The more problems you solve, the happier you will feel and you will create more energy.

Heal your soul.

If you have made mistakes, forgive yourself, get up and get going. If someone has done you wrong, don’t let it blind you. Rise above it, don’t get intimidated and let it poison your future. Move forward to chase your dreams and purpose in life. Life is too short to pay long visits to old hurts and the unfairness of life.

Fatimah Musa provides information, tips and quotes to help people become aware that any future success starts with their personal growth. You can visit Fatimah at http://www.about-personal-growth.com or read more articles at http://www.about-personal-growth.com/personal-growth-articles.html

Source: High Quality Article Database - 365Articles.com

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Where is Happiness?

Friday, December 8th, 2006

Do you move through life feeling everyday is the same? Like some repeated pattern that goes on and on? For some people, there’s nothing new to do under the sun, and nowhere to go. Everything is just boring, boring, boring. They work so hard to earn enough money to play, but yet their playtime passes so fast. Suffer five days, enjoy two days. Sometimes, to break the monotony, they seek thrill through intoxicants (alcohol, smoke), sex, and even drugs. For these temporary pleasures, it feels exciting while it’s happening, but once it’s over, the same pattern of meaninglessness sets in, and they’re left thinking, “When can I get the next high?”

Perhaps you will recognize this scene… Two old men are sitting on a bus. As the bus passes by the red-light district, one old man says to the other, “Hey… aren’t you going to see the chickens (prostitute) today?” The other man raises an eyebrow… a spark in his wrinkled eyes, “Yes, yes, I will be going this afternoon!” The first old man smirks, and says, “You didn’t even bring your medicine, how can you DO IT?”

For some people, their lust is so strong, that they borrow money from family and friends, just to visit brothels. You will see this pattern in addicts. Drug addicts, sex addicts, alcohol addicts. They’re always looking for the greater thrill and the next high, and that’s what sets their life on a downward spiral. They waste their time, energy, and money, instead of using it to build success.

For life to have zest, everyone needs that natural feeling of drive, anticipation, and excitement. When one does not know how to get it naturally, one may resort to vices to stimulate that sense of being fully alive, desperately trying to bring some meaning into life. But you see, happiness is within you… If you can’t satisfy your wants, then the other way to happiness is to release them. Let go of that which you must have. Shakyamuni Buddha said that, “All desire leads to suffering…” Suffering because you crave what you do not have. And let me ask you this: Is this yearning self-created? Or something imposed on you by the outside world? Perhaps it’s the outside world’s fault because other people keep flaunting their luxuries and exotic experiences. But surely, we create this yearning within ourselves. It is within our power to control it, or release it altogether.

Lord Richard Layard, Professor from the London School of Economics, a leading happiness researcher, says, “Happiness is a balance between your expectations and your attainments. One way is to get what you want. The other, is liking what you get.”

Many of our desires are misplaced. We think getting them will bring us happiness, but that is an illusion. These misplaced desires are nothing more than temporary pleasures. You don’t need to satisfy your desires to be happy; you need only release them. Do you need the attention of the opposite sex? No, as you get older, your body parts will sag, and the opposite sex will pay less attention to you. Must you get laid to be happy? No, as you age, your sex hormones will lessen, and so will your desire to mate. Must you wait till you have a million bucks? Nope. Historical and worldwide research shows that above US$15,000 a year, higher income is no guarantee of greater happiness.

The people who feel good everyday, without resorting to vices, have one mental characteristic in common. They have a dream, and they know what they want to achieve in life. This sense of purpose drives them; gives meaning to their existence. They have discovered their soul’s calling, and are living life to the fullest by following it. This is different from those who are ‘party animals’, “living life to the fullest” by drowning in deafening music, and shaking till the sun rises… That’s not living, that’s dying.

If you want to find true meaning and happiness in life, then you’ve got to uncover your life’s purpose. For each of us has a unique destiny. A path made specially for you to walk on this journey through life. Follow it, and you arrive in paradise. Ignore it, and you continue to wander… wasting time, and life itself.

1. You need to know what you’re made of. Your talents, strengths, and abilities.
2. Craft a vision for yourself, and visualize that dream in your mind.
3. Work out a plan that sets your goals and decides what actions you must take to achieve them.
4. Tell your closest friends about it, and commit yourself to taking five of the planned actions everyday to build your dream.

When you see that your actions are creating results, it will be a natural source of excitement and inspiration. Instead of spending time, energy, and money on vices, you invest it in creating an upward spiral of success. By releasing your desire for temporary pleasures, you kick your bad habit out the door. By choosing to live your purpose and answer your soul’s calling, you break free from the chains of monotony, and find truth, meaning, and happiness in life.

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The Magic of Dreaming Big

Sunday, December 3rd, 2006

If you dont dream big enough, you major in minor things. A sad fact of life is that people dont live to achieve their fullest potential. Most of the time, the act of surviving consumes them. Earning enough to live a comfortable lifestyle takes up all their time. And in the end, they have yet to find meaning and fulfilment in their lives.

Whats wrong here? How is it that people who have a job, with steady income and a comfortable lifestyle, can still find their lives lacking meaning and value? Shouldnt they be happy because they have money coming in; they can buy and do what they want?

Realize that achieving a life of fulfilment and happiness is not just about making tons of money, enjoying luxuries, and free-time off thats only part of it. The other part is what many people miss: Its about realizing your lifes purpose and acting on it every day. This produces a passion that makes your life worth living. It frees your heart from the binds of meaningless routine work, and gives you a brighter future to look forward to. Everyday will be a new day, where you wake up and say, This is a day to play! And off you go, out to make tons of money and live the high life. But this time, you have a purpose in doing so, and thats why you are happy.

So how do you realize your purpose? How do you know what you can be?

Each of us is unique. Our personalities, desires, and life callings are different. I cant tell you what your fullest potential is. The word your implies that you must decide what fullest potential means to you what is your souls calling? We all have innate potential or greatness that lies dormant within us, until we uncover it and nurture it. Note that I said uncover, not discover because when you discover, it is something new and unknown. But when you uncover, it is realizing potential that has always been there.

To release your potential, youve got to have an idea of what it is. You need to have the big picture of your life clearly imagined in your mind. This vision gives you a destination, but doesnt show you how to get there. Thats fine. Well draw our own road map later. Just being able to see this vision is already a major step to realizing your lifes purpose. So how do you get a vision? There are a few methods, and I will suggest some that have worked for me.

**Ways to Get a Vision**

1. Personal Dreamtime
Take some time off, maybe in the evening or on the weekend for a comfortable moment of personal reflection. Put some soothing music into the CD player the kind that relaxes you and frees your mind. Sit or lie down, your choice.

While you relax, begin by remembering the past. Start when you were young. What were your childhood dreams? What had you always wanted to become? Remember that.

Now, progress through your life as it has unfolded until the present time. Noticing how your dreams have changed. While you do so, feel with your heart for the dream that most inspires you and fills you with wonder. As if you would say, Thats wonderful or thats awesome! This dream is a potential calling.

2. Keep a Record
Memory distorts over time. But you can see your life objectively if you keep a record of it. This record is essential to becoming aware of the big picture of your life as it unfolds everyday. Start a personal journal. Write down your thoughts before bedtime. Take note of what went well today, what you look forward to tomorrow, and what wish to dream about tonight. By steadily collecting your innermost thoughts, you can track your progress through life, seeing if any significant changes have occurred. And if so, for better or for worse?

Take photos of your friends, places you visit, yourself at your best and so on. Photos bring back vivid memories, and are accurate records of your life. If you use a digital camera, you might want to start a journal on your computer. Then you can add photos, video, and audio to your journal. You can also print out your nicely formatted journal to share with friends, or publish it on the Internet.
Recommended Journaling Software: The Journal http://www.e-journal.us

3. Do a Numerological Analysis
Strangely, numerology is a good source of insight when it comes to realizing your purpose in life. The calculations for birth path, destiny number, and name analysis may uncover for you a purpose you had cast aside, but deep in your heart, known all your life. You might find yourself saying, Hey thats true interesting!
Free and Complete Numerology Reading: http://www.sun-angel.com/numerology

4. Do a Personality Test
Take an MBTI test (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). You can find free tests on the Internet. Then get this book: The Millionaire Code 16 Paths to Wealth Building, by Paul B. Farrell. It lists each of the 16 MBTI personalities, and how each personality type has built wealth using their own unique characteristics. Check it out!
Free MBTI Test: http://www.humanmetrics.com (click on Jung Typology Test)

As you explore these methods, I suggest you keep a life-purpose folder. This could simply be a section in your journal, or a file by itself. In it, write down and compile everything about your lifes purpose. Try writing out a vision statement. List out your top ten life goals, and create a long list of what you enjoy doing. Think about how you can make a living doing what you enjoy. Once a month, make it a point to review what you have written. As you look over these precious details, you will gain an overview of your desires and aspirations. Your lifes purpose will become clearer to you. But dont stop there, keep collecting more insights. You can also add the readings from your personality test, your numerology test and descriptions of what you see in your dreams. All will help to bring you greater clarity and vision in your life.

Once you have an idea of what your purpose and passion could be, start it now! Even if its only in a small way because experience is the greatest teacher. Your experience will tell you whether this is your lifes purpose. Does it ignite the passion in you? You need to try out your purpose and see if it fits! Think of a job you can volunteer for, or a special project you can start on your own. By starting it now, you are giving yourself the opportunity to experience living your purpose.

At the end of your life, you are going to look back on all that youve done. Your greatest achievements and your happiest moments. You want to be able to say, Yes, Ive lived a great life. Im grateful for everything life has given me. And to do that, you need to start now. Get that journal, do those tests, and write down those thoughts because youre getting older, and you need to uncover your purpose to live a happier, more fulfilling life.

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